Some girls think boys should know what they are thinking.

I don’t know if i am exaggerating this or not, but this is one thing i found to be common with every girl i have known. For some reason, especially if there is enough closeness and affection, i realise that they usually believe that i am expected to know what they’re thinking. Even when they’re not giving the right cues for it, or giving the right cues that can make it possible for you to know what they want or mean exactly.

At an expanded world view, i think it’s same thing that plays out with the wooing stage (of any), that innate (entitlement mentality) that it is the duty of the opposite gender to decode the green lights and make a go for it. But, really? In this century? That’s by the way.

A little internet search though brought the right psychological term that classified such behaviours. According to psychologists, it is termed the “Illusion of Transparency“.

What is Illusion of Transparency? Illusion of transparency is a situation in which we mostly overestimate how other people understand our body behaviours and cues. In other words, we overestimate how the mind of other people work judging from our understanding of how our own mind works.

Most times, some cues are very verbal in nature though not done with words or sound but just other visible cues from behaviours and aversions. This is mostly why someone may be frustrated or angry that you did something which you probably have no idea. Because you have no idea that you committed any wrong, decoding the cues the other person is giving becomes an issue, adding to their frustration. It may also lead to the other partner thinking that you don’t care about their feelings seeing as you don’t seem to get it.

In the other way around, you may be hiding your feelings, emotions or appearances to conceal something you think other people are noticing about you. However, it’s usually the case that other people don’t even care about what is really troubling you, especially if it has something to do with the appearance.

This is the reason why communication is key in every affairs or relationship. Learn to communicate your mind at all times, so that you don’t create unnecessary drama because of avoidable feelings related neglect. There is no X-rays in the market that gives clues to the outlays of thought patterns and thinking processes. 

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