I don’t know if I should start this article by telling you that everyone is out to get you. Okay, everyone is not really out to get you per se, but take a good look at your room or your possessions – how many of the items or people you see did you really get for free? Emphasis on the word “Really”. Don’t answer me, keep it to yourself.
This might not be a popular opinion, but I am one of those who advocate that you should really spend your time well. The reason is obvious. Some people will rather spend time complaining about something they have 100% control over, instead of doing something about it. You have to note that at all times, you are in charge of your life.
In this article, we will be sharing some of the ways you can easily use to filter out people you don’t need in your life.
• Be Wise
Been wise in this modern age is a gift and mind training you have to give yourself. Wisdom helps you decipher what is good for you and what’s not good for you.
Being wise will help you not tolerate certain acts because you value yourself. Wisdom will be like your hidden friend, helping you decipher when something is not good for you.
Here is wisdom in play. You have friends, and you go out to drink regularly. Because of this, every Friday probably, you have to set out a certain amount of money for such frivolities. Let’s also say you have a family which you are taking care of. But, due to extra funds being dedicated to drinking every every weekend, suddenly your children start complaining of old clothes, or being sent away from school. Your wife starts complaining that food items are now costly and the money you provide and the one she adds is no longer enough. All this while though, your drinking life is still waxing strong, and moving from strength to strength. Question: Is this wise?
Wisdom requires that you realise when a seemingly unimportant or important lifestyle is affecting other people or your life. If your association with your drinking buddies is affecting your home, simply put a stop to it or give excuses why you can’t meet up. But, you can’t do this if you don’t have the wisdom to realize it.
Some people will rather give excuse that that’s their lifestyle rather than move away from such outings or minimize it to the barest minimum in other to free up funds. Nobody forced you to marry. Even if you were forced, you still had the option of running away. And before you start complaining about your home no longer being conducive, there were several other choices available before you made the final decision to marry the person.
• Develop A Good Conscience
Another way to filter out people you don’t need in your life is to have a conscience. Conscience here is like a moral ground which guides your daily interactions and forms your basic morality.
You are what you eat, and you attract what you want all the time. Having a conscience acts as a filtration system to make sure you differentiate what is good for you and when you are going overboard.
When it applies to the people in your life or potential meet ups in the future, your conscience makes sure you attract and keep only people whose morality fits yours, and whose lifestyle will not add meaning to yours.
•Create A Value System For Yourself
This is the most common way, and it works off of both conscience and wisdom. Creating a value system is definitely going to make a lot of things easier for you.
If someone is not going to be serving any useful purpose in your life, there is no need creating familiarity with them, especially if acquaintance is likely to create unnecessary issues in the future.
Some people can be friends with you because you always disagree with them. For them, your disagreement provides them with different perspectives. Another person may simply never ever have a conversation likely to bring diverse opinion with you. Another might simply never even bring up any anymore. Obviously, you should know that the persons in the second and third category are closeted and probably finds it hard listening to opinions different from the ones they’re familiar with.
Set your values right.
•Make Good Choices
Choices stems from preferences. Preferences most times are influenced by individual desires, societal influences and peer pressure.
However, at the end of the day, the choice to do or not to do is always in your hands at all times. Don’t stay or put up with people just because you believe or think you don’t have a choice in the matter. You probably are always thinking about what you are benefitting. That’s a thought limitation engineered by Fear.
•Note The Bad Vibe Pointers
You cannot know what anyone is ever thinking about at any given time. But, you can at least get an idea of what it is from their actions and words.The pointers will always be there if you pay attention long enough. They always come in form of behaviors you can’t stand or the other person being insensitive to things you complain about.
Notwithstanding the fact that some people may or can really complain a lot in annoying ways, people with bad vibes always give it off unintentionally most times because they can’t hide who they are. It’s left for you to tolerate it or call it quits. Don’t think you can change them later, you won’t. You will end up complaining about it till you get tired, leave or stop complaining about it in some cases because they may even start telling you that you complain about irrelevant things. Such is life!
Therefore, it’s important that you pay attention and know when you are lowering your standards overboard just because you don’t want to let go of someone. Your sanity and peace of mind is most precious.
You can read here to know how to easily know someones true character.