The popular Nollywood actor recently made headlines when he said that Feminism is the reason women of nowadays get beaten up sometimes by their husbands at home.
According to the veteran actor –
“Today, our wives can’t even cook anymore. Women who can’t cook aren’t supposed to call themselves women. And feminism is what causes women to be beaten up in marriages. You complain to a woman and she retorts.”
I think there is a lot of inadequacies in this statement. First of all, that a woman doesn’t know how to cook doesn’t make them less of a woman. Understandably, we are from a culture that stresses on the importance of women knowing how to cook. But, we are no longer in 1800.
Like every institution, marriage have also seen it’s ups and downs. As such, marriage has metamorphosed to tag along with the new world. Same way there are career men, there are career women. A woman has every right that a man has, and more. Marriage is a partnership, not a one sided affair where one party decides what is supposed to happen from preconceived notions – or conservative nature. If you want to decide everything about your life by yourself, avoid marriage.
That some wives take it as their duty to be cooking for their husbands, doesn’t mean every other woman out there will do the same – people’s perception of life is different in this era. Some women that can afford it can pay for such service or get a house help to do it. If the husband doesn’t like the arrangement, then they didn’t do proper courtship or had detailed discussion about how their married life will be.
However, what a man cannot do is beat his wife because she doesn’t know how to cook or replied back at you. If you can’t control yourself, then you have failed as a person, and should go and treat your anger issues, not lash it out on your wife.
Secondly, the man getting married to the woman should at least know that she can’t cook before the marriage. If he didn’t know this, then he has failed in his own personal duty of going for what he wants. Thirdly, no one forced you to marry someone who cannot cook, when in fact you wanted somebody that knows how to cook.
Finally, feminism have nothing to do with wives not cooking for their husbands anymore. Though, like every other good thing, extremists have taken the term too far. However, feminism is not about cooking food or not cooking food for your husband – that’s a joke taken too far I’m afraid to say. If your wife cannot or can no longer cook for you, it is a personal thing peculiar to your marriage with your wife. Asaulting her in whatever disguise or form because of that is a criminal offence.