Satire: Satirical Liturgy of the people




Ekwensu, a relative to one of the Elder Gods appointed by Chukwu got a surprise visit from Anyanaeleuwa, popularly known as Wide Eye. She is one of Chukwu’s most trusted watchful Gods whose role allows her to constantly keep tracks of trends around the universe. As soon as the Elder Gods were appointed to take care of things, they had to specifically implore her to keep track of key events on Earth. They believe that both God and Satan are too attached to humans. Therefore, they wanted her to monitor the situation on earth very closely with her remarkable watchful eyes.

    After watching his name destroyed, tarnished and muscled out of pop culture, Ekwensu has resigned to his fate that he is probably unredeemable now, and that his name has forever been muddled by the Church of Latter Day Armaggedonians who is making the People of Earth believe that he is the same person as Satan. He was in his secret Garden gifted him by Ala who had compassion for his travails when Anyanaeleuwa slowly manifested in her glorious beauty right in front of him. She didn’t know Ekwensu was there when she did that. Ekwensu has mastered the art of present-absenteeism, a basic survival skill for the powerful God of War.

“Hi” he said warmly to the beautiful Wide Eye who was surprised to see him there.

“You can see me?” she inquired.

“Of course” Ekwensu replied.

“That’s weird” she retorted back almost as soon and started approaching him, with zillions of eyes staring right back at Ekwensu.

“Why do you say that” he inquired to know from Wide Eye.  

“Only the Elder Gods and Chukwu are allowed to see me as I am” she replied.

“You can add me to the list now” he joked.

“I’m more interested in how you were able to do that. I know for certain that you are no Elder God” she replied him, very serious at this moment and didn’t laugh to Ekwensu’s joke.

“I know for a fact too that you cannot make me tell you” Ekwensu retorted, calling her bluff. She stopped midway and smiled as soon as he said that.

“What if I told you a secret, would you tell me how you did it?” Wide Eye inquired.

“It would depend entirely on how the secret will help me I guess”

“Well, I know for a fact that you seek mainstream and want to be relevant in pop culture again, true or false?” she queried.

“You would know, won’t you?”

“I could show you the way” she whispered to him from a few centimeters apart.

“I am all ears” he replied.

“Get Satan’s former girlfriend, Nneke to file a Joinder in the current case filed by the people of Earth” Wide Eye replied, making him nod his head in affirmation and acknowledgment of the nice idea.

“Okay, I see your point, and I admit that you are making too much sense right now” Ekwensu calmly said to her. “Did you see this in my thoughts?” he inquired just as soon, as if he had a sudden realization.

“Of course; if you can see me, you surely knew this was part of the deal” she said, smiling at him.

“Thank you for your profound insight Anyanaeleuwa” he remarked.

“So, how did you do it? How are you seeing me?” she inquired.

“Oh, I’m not seeing you at all; I just made you think that way. I’m a Trickster God, remember? Pulling tricks is my special powers” he replied with an unusual smile, making Anyanaeleuwa to smile this time.

“I see.”

One comment

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