Some people find it hard to forgive others especially when they have been wronged to a great extent. As a matter of speaking, there are acts which many people will simply tell you it’s unforgivable on their end. Yeah, some peculiar acts can cause that.
As most religious doctrines teach, forgiveness has to come from the heart. It doesn’t just need to come from the inner mind, it has to be complete too for proper healing of the person from the offence that unleashed the unforgiving spirit in the individual with respect to that singular act.
Psychology tells us that it takes about 6 – 8 months before you can completely process forgiveness. In other words, you won’t totally heal from the said act until certain amount of time has passed. But, this is not a justification to stay angry.
Remember that anger has it’s own dark bile which is bitter in every aspect of it. Anger makes you go nuts and may lead you into doing things you will surely regret.
However, one of the best ways to help yourself heal faster from anything is to deploy the 5 by 5 rule. The rule stipulates that if what you are getting angry about will not matter in five years, you shouldn’t spend more than five minutes being upset about it.
The 5 by 5 rule aims to nip the problem at the bud by cutting off the root cause ab initio. This makes sure that a day later, the stuff that would have created unending worries for you has automatically being cut off before it manifests its ugly head. Therefore, it can no longer grow any root in you so as to fester it’s worries and create more reasons to be angry.
The emotional hurt can be so deep that forgiveness becomes the last thing you want to do. But, remember that anger is a punishment we give ourselves for other people’s wrong doing towards you. Therefore, you have to learn how not to let them get to you.
Create your own mental block whichever way you want, apply the 5 by 5 rule, but by all means don’t let that supposed emotional turmoil burn you out for your lack of forgiving spirit.
Like Psychologists have pointed out, anger permeates deep into your subconscious where it becomes harder to let go completely until at least 6 months have passed. As you know, your subconscious mind is responsible for those involuntary thoughts that flip into your brain at random. It takes 6 – 8 months for the brain to process complete forgiveness.
Your inability to let go will get you six months of random but consistent rages which will always spoil your mood. I’m sure you don’t want that.