Satire: Satirical Liturgy of the people

[EXCLUSIVE] Satirical Liturgy: A Case For Satan [6]

    A day to the court date, the Elders were yet to find a capable hand to challenge Lilith. It turned out that Lilith had dirt on all the candidates being proposed for the job through her Spyglass network. Even though all of them has asked forgiveness for their sins and have been forgiven by the Chief Priest of Heaven on behalf of God, they are not blind to the damage Lilith could orchestrate with some of the video evidences. She earlier used one to bargain an agreement for heaven to stop interfering with how she governed hell with Lucy.

  Elder 12 was riding with a big Leviathan in the Green Sea which flowed from the Imo River when Thanos informed him through Mamiwater that God was calling him on the phone.

“Talk to your sister please” was the only thing he heard before the phone went dead.

“He never changes” Elder 12 calmly said out to Thanos who simply laughed and warned him afterwards.

“Whatever you do, do not tell the Queen that her son is alive”.

“Oh, I am going back to ride with my Leviathan friend in the sea. I wish humans all the best in their case. As for me, I cannot miss this freedom for anything else right now” the Elder replied and whistled to Adams flying horse to fly him high enough for a deep dive into the Green sea.

Thirty minutes later, the phone rang again and it was God.

“Didn’t he get my message?” echoed on the phone as soon as Thanos picked the call.

“Your in-law is not around”

“Get him on the phone” God thundered on the phone.

“Don’t shout at me, I’m not your errand boy” Thanos simply told him. Before God could say any other thing, he hung the call. All subsequent calls were ignored afterwards.

“That man can disturb for Africa” he said to Adam who was tending to an injured ass.

“Of course; all I did was eat an apple, but look at me. Every deranged psychopath thinks he is born a sinner and imperfect today because of me…because I ate an apple. I didn’t even pluck it myself from the tree” he lamented.

“I can relate with you my friend. We can all agree that they are always looking for whom to blame, it’s their nature.”

“Of course, that’s what they are both good at. If not that Eve and I were wise enough to create our own secret paths inside the garden, we would probably be in hell by now. That dude he posted out there as the gateman still thinks he has succeeded in keeping us away from the garden even after six thousand years. He doesn’t even bother to take a stroll inside the garden he is protecting” he said, making Thanos laugh more hard, while pouring more wine into the skull he drank from.

They were still at it when God came down to the garden and Adam went and hid inside the forbidden room. God has barred himself too from entering the room, making it a safe haven for Adam whenever God comes to the garden.

“Where is he?” God asked Thanos as soon as they met under the big vine tree close to the Tree of Life.

“Enjoying his freedom I guess” he replied.

“You didn’t pass my message across?”

“Not my business. My work is done, and now I am going to sit here under the evening sun and watch the sun set over there at the horizon. I will probably take great photos to show my grandchildren when I am old and nearing my end” Thanos stated, but more to the chagrin of God. Who simply vanished and reappeared a few seconds later with Elder 12 after angrily smashing the Leviathan against rocks because He knew she was leading the Elder astray, distracting him from God’s work.

“Can you believe this Thanny? God just killed my new friend and for what?”

“This is totally wrong on all levels” Thanos said, but was shushed by God who reminded him that he will leak his treachery to the Avengers if he doesn’t keep his mouth shut.

“There should be order in the universe, and you just broke it. You can’t go about killing species that are going into extinction and expect to be patted on the back for it” Thanos added.

“I have the Infinity stones, remember?”

“And I have Michael. Want to have a go at it? I won’t mind having him whoop your sorry ass” God told him.

“You just broke a universal decree God, and I don’t intend to let it slide” the Elder added.

“I made this world, and I can do anything I want with it, and that includes killing that evil Leviathan. She allowed Satan get to her, eventually soiling her soul. She is unworthy in my presence. Do you think it pleases me to kill a creature I took seven days to create?” God stated to him.

“But you have broken Chuwku’s law. Or have you forgotten why I was sent here by you in the first place? Have you forgotten the ‘No interference’ decree by Chukwu pending the determination of the case filed by People of Earth before Him?” the Elder asked. It was at this point that God regretted his actions and wished he didn’t kill the Leviathan out of anger.

“You are right. This has to be a secret between us all. I will also reinstall you as the Litigator-General of Heaven, overruling the earlier decisions by the Council in Heaven” God told him.

“I’m not interested” the Elder replied, stunning God and Thanos.

 “You know, the problem with you is that you don’t listen. You always want to do what is in your mind, always thinking that everything is about you. Look where it got us all today” he added and angrily walked off.

“All my children are angry at me… nothing I do is ever enough for them” God said out, but not to Thanos as he watched Elder 12 walk away, soliloquizing and kick at random objects on his way.

“Can you blame them?”

“Oh, don’t get rattled Thanny. If I wanted you dead a long time ago, you would have been and God will not save you from me” the Queen of Heaven added upon seeing Thanos shiver at her unexpected entry.

“This place reeks of Adam” she added finally before turning to face God. “Still having trouble finding a lawyer?”

“Lilith’s got them all, all of them” God answered.

“Well, there is Nneke” the Queen said.

“She is too conflicted to defend me. Moreover, Ekwensu got to him before the Elders could reach her” God told her.

“The devil is always pulling up one over us all the time” Thanos remarked.


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