Thinking about life itself is depressing. A casual stroll through ones shortcomings and a desire for all the things we want but can’t have is enough to make a lot of people sad.
However, one of the basic things we know for certain about unhappiness is that overthinking plays a major role in amplifying it’s effects. This tends to make worries appear bigger or troubling than they’re.
This may be the causes of unhappiness and need to be checkmated before they devour your whole being. Putting a cap to worries is absolutely fundamental and one of the major aspects of your thought processes you should nurture properly. Here are some of the little known things that cause unhappiness and how to let go of them –
1) You’re Afraid of Failure
Fear is not such a bad thing. It makes us feel alive, and helps us avoid living in the delusion that everything is going to go exactly how we want it to.
That notwithstanding, fear should not keep you down or stop you from trying out something new that is likely to benefit you if everything goes well. As you already know, nothing ever goes as planned.
Keeping that in mind, you should not be afraid to fail. Even if what you wanted to achieve didn’t come as you expected, the process you went through in that journey is an enlightening one that should leave you with so many experiences and new knowledge. With this, you will know why things didn’t work out and would have gained considerable arsenals (knowledge) to forge ahead than when you started and was afraid.
2) Having No Purpose in Life
To avoid thinking yourself to death, it’s advisable that you generate a purpose for yourself and pursue it as aggressively as possible. It’s also a big plus if this purpose happens to be your dream in life. It makes it better and more personal.
The mind is always wandering, seeking to make meaning of literally anything it comes across. If you don’t give your mind something worthwhile to occupy itself with, it is going to generate one for you. All of the time, it is going to do it using things within you, which you have been feeding it with all this while.
Some people have family because they want stability in their life. This makes everything else pale in comparison because at the end of the day, they have someone to come back to. For others, it may be work. Yet for so many others, it may be one thing or the other.
Therefore, it doesn’t matter what. Just find it and hold on to it, so long as it’s not evil or causing others harm. Having a purpose in life gives you the will to live and the courage to get up from bed every day to continue working towards or maintaining that purpose.
Clarity and focus comes from having a visible purpose to accomplish. If you finish with one, well create another and start again while you still have life.
3) You are Stuck in your Past
Sometimes, one may look at the past and wonder if they were not better than the present. It may be that you lived a more fulfilled life in the past but that part of you is gone somehow and now you are stuck there, fixating on your gone glorious times.
You have to grow beyond old glories, memories, cherished flames of love and other thrilling experiences you may have enjoyed in the past and face reality. Fixating on such heights ain’t going to put you into the womb to be born again or rewind the hands of time.
Leave the past where it belongs but hold on to it’s lessons very tight. Use what the past has taught you as a Torchlight but not to measure circumstances as they unfold in your future.
4) Comparing Yourself with Others
People who go down this path always end up doing something they will regret at a later date in the future. Comparison with others may be good depending on the situation. However, for the sake of your self prestige and sanity, don’t.
It’s easy to start comparing because you think you know what the other person is doing or not doing. No two circumstances are the same, and so all your comparisons are going to be off.
All the things you will be using as variables or the basis of the comparison will all be dependent on circumstances you don’t know about.
So in other words, Life A and Life B will never be comparable since they are shaped by different circumstances, environment, ideals, characters, familial ties, society, religious beliefs, cultures, traditions, norms, etc. Therefore, whatever the basis, it is already wrong. So, there is no need to even begin.
Don’t compare. Run your race against yourself at your own pace. Comparing yourself with others will only demotivate you.
Compare yourself with your past self. It’s the only way you can grow. True nobility is being superior to your former self.
5) Holding Grudges
The only thing grudges always left behind is destruction and unhappiness. The question is, why continue to hold on to one?
We all have a right to be annoyed or angry at things that displeases us, especially if it’s coming from someone we didn’t expect such thing from. But, we should not let grudges take root in our mind and allow it grow branches by watering it with ill thoughts and constant thinking.
As they say, being angry is a self-imposed punishment. Holding grudges is even a more higher form of this mental torture. This is because, whatever it is that is the problem, it is only in your mind; the other person may not even be aware of it.
You can’t be punishing yourself for something another did by sustaining such negativity in your mind with an unbridled grudge fuel. You have to be able to let go no matter what. You can always use the “5 Years” rule viz – how important will my grudges be in the next five years? If it’s not going to be that important in five years time, then there is no need holding on to them.
In conclusion, your happiness is entirely up to you. All the things that should make you happy is within, not outside.